DEAR ABBY: I acquire been affiliated to my bedmate for 38 years. Our two accouchement are adults now. Our earlier son has had the aforementioned adherent for 11 years, but my ancestors still won’t acquire her because they aren’t married, so they don’t accommodate her in some ancestors functions. How can I let them apperceive in a nice way that she is ancestors to me? Alike my bedmate doesn’t attention her as family.
I accept some bodies are that way, but I was aloft by a mother who saw all of our accompany and boyfriends and girlfriends as family, alike afterwards some were divorced. I feel like absence these ancestors functions if my accouchement and their girlfriends aren’t included. What can I do? — INCLUSIVE IN OKLAHOMA
DEAR INCLUSIVE: Your ancestors acquire a appropriate to their opinions, and so do you. Accept to your heart. If it’s cogent you that you would rather absorb those times with your accouchement and their girlfriends, go advanced and do it. I am bold that the son who is complex in the abiding accord would not be abrogation his adherent home abandoned back these gatherings are held, because if that’s the case afterwards 11 years, she should dump him.
DEAR ABBY: My sisters and I grew up in California. One of my sisters confused to Texas with her bedmate 29 years ago. Over the years I acquire had to accept to her put California down. On the occasions back she visits, she never fails to acknowledgment how awash it is, how the air is abhorrent and how our government is a joke.
Recently, she asked to appear actuality for a visit, and I agreed. The abutting day I got a argument from her with an commodity absorbed about “Why California Sucks.” I am so affronted that I no best appetite her to appear abutting month. How do I handle this? — ANNOYED IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR ANNOYED: Are you cogent me you acquire acceptable your sister’s jibes about our abundant accompaniment of California all this time after putting a stop to it? That woman has a lot of nerve! If she absolutely hates it here, why is she accommodating to come?
Although California may acquire its accustomed disasters, a ample abandoned population, unhealthful air quality, baking calefaction after-effects and the affiance of alike college taxes to appear — added states are not after their challenges. Yet association still assume to appetite to arrive to California in droves, anticipation by the traffic.
The time has appear to draw the line. Acquaint your sister you don’t like her needling, and if she doesn’t cut it out, her allurement will be rescinded.
DEAR ABBY: For the aftermost 20 years, I acquire been sending my four nieces and nephews altogether and Christmas cards with checks enclosed. They are adults now with jobs and families. How can I acclaim acquaint them that I ambition to abandon the checks in their cards? — NO MORE IN FLORIDA
DEAR NO MORE: All you charge to do is admonish them — acquiescently — that because they are adults now, with jobs and families of their own, you would like to barter cards on appropriate occasions rather than accelerate money. Many parents do this back their accouchement ability adulthood.
Dear Abby is accounting by Abigail Van Buren, additionally accepted as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
Good admonition for anybody — adolescence to seniors — is in “The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It.” To order, accelerate your name and commitment address, additional analysis or money adjustment for $8 (U.S. funds), to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and administration are included in the price.)
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