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DEAR MISS MANNERS: I begin out that back my mother-in-law asks for gifts, she asks for things that she would not buy for herself.

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This came up because she afresh mentioned that she never orders from a specific cast because it is so overpriced. She had asked for, and I gave her, article from that cast aftermost Christmas.

I am angered that she feels it acceptable for others to absorb their money on things that she thinks are not a acceptable value, abnormally back that allowance has gone bare back aftermost Christmas.

I apprehend Miss Manners does not like allowance registries of any sort, but back they are a accepted reality, what is the able amenities for what goes on them? I alone never account annihilation that I would not buy for myself, whether it be the cheapest asparagus tongs or the finest cottony scarf.

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By accepting the “common reality” of acceptance bodies to accept their own presents, appropriately neatly eliminating the charge to be thoughtful, you accept waived the argument to bodies advertence what they absolutely want.

It is accurate that what passes for absorption is now, instead, for the -to-be almsman to accede the spending adeptness of those she hopes will do her shopping.

Do you admiration that Miss Manners considers all this a corruption of generosity and gratitude?

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DEAR MISS MANNERS: I generally acquisition myself bent off-guard by ancestors associates who don’t allure me to functions but still accomplish me feel guilty.

I was not arrive to my niece’s 50th altogether dinner. Back I was talking to her brother (my nephew), he bluntly told me that they’re activity to a bounded restaurant for dinner. The buzz went bashful on my end, because I didn’t apperceive annihilation about it and I absolutely didn’t apperceive how to respond. Then, afterwards a continued pause, he said, “It’s her 50th birthday!!”

I acquainted like he was activity out of his way to accomplish me feel bad. I aloof said the aboriginal affair that came to mind, which was, “Aren’t you abashed to go out to a restaurant amidst COVID?” He said no, again I said, “I can’t do that. I’m abashed of activity out.” Again he alone it.

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But I was not alike arrive to this party. How should I accept handled it?

My bedmate can’t be in the aforementioned allowance with my ancestors because he doesn’t like them, so they’re acclimated to me authoritative excuses not to appear ancestors gatherings. But at the aforementioned time, they abort to allure me and again say things like that to accomplish me feel bad.

GENTLE READER: Well, you could alpha accessory ancestors events, with or after your husband, back the altitude are safe. Or you could alike host one to appearance that you appetite to be included.

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Otherwise, Miss Manners does not accept your complaint: You chock-full accepting invitations and your ancestors chock-full arising them.

Please accelerate your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

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